There she is, Ethel, fully prostrate on the ground, thanking the government for something that the government wasn't even responsible for. What utter servility!

The story -- and it was all over the newspapers, if only Ethel had read -- is this:

Director Ang Lee offered the uncut version to all markets except China. For that market, he produced a version snipping several minutes from the film.

The Singapore distributor, Buena Vista International, decided not to take the uncut version, but the tamer, China one. It submitted the latter to the Singapore censors asking for an NC16 (at least 16 years old) rating, which it got.

Why did it choose the cut version? Film distributors here are notorious for wanting a safe rating, in order to make the film available to teenagers who make up a large segment of the movie-going market. Quite evidently, Buena Vista had wanted more box office sales.

Film buffs were enraged that they were being treated like children and denied the full work. Many vowed to boycott it. In any case, teenagers had no interest in what was really an arthouse and period piece. The net result was the worst of both worlds: irate customers and lacklustre sales.

Bowing to the inevitable, Buena Vista International withdrew the NC16 version from theatres after a short run and released the uncut version instead, this time under an R21 rating.

The attempt at censorship, as the story shows, was entirely a private sector affair, driven by completely callous commercial interest. It's bad enough that the state censors are banning this and that, cutting this and that. Business and private citizens buy into the whole philosophy as well. A whole culture of utter disregard for freedom of expression has arisen here. People don't expect any better, and when to their surprise they get to see a movie uncut, they, like Ethel, fall to the ground, thanking the government. They don't see freedom as their human right, but as a magnanimous gesture from the lord. A gift for the undeserving.

Next, we'll be singing praises of the government when the wind blows.

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Not that the Media Development Authority (MDA) -- the official monicker for our state censors -- don't try their darnest to set the pace for banning things. Why, we must even strive to be "uniquely Singapore" to go by the Tourism Board's slogan: We shall ban what no other country bans!

The Xbox 360 space adventure game Mass Effect was banned by the MDA -- Singapore's the only country in the world to do so -- because "it contains a sex scene between a human woman and a female alien," reported the Straits Times. [1] 

"The scene in question shows the human-alien duo in suggestive poses, kissing and caressing each other, but without frontal nudity," explained our national daily. "It ends with the alien saying: 'By the Gods, that was incredible, Commander'."

Our bureaucrats appear to be paranoid about any suggestion of homosexuality.

A huge outcry resulted "among local and international gamers, who said it was too strict a decision," said the Straits Times.

Well, the outcry seems to have worked. Within days, the ban was lifted. The totally out-of-touch MDA was shouted down. Instead, the game will be sold with an M18 sticker, which means it cannot be sold to anyone below 18 years old. [2] 

Of course, you and I know that what will happen is that big brother, with more pocket money, will buy the game but younger brother will play it just as often. Well, that's life. And it's time our nanny-state gets used to it and learns for once that most Singaporeans don't think a same-sex kiss is any harm.

Now, MDA, how about reversing the ban on my Kissing photo exhibition?

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If the Hope concert is goes ahead, please support the event. Tickets should be available from the www.fridae.com website soon. 

© Yawning Bread