The six young men funded their own training and paid their own way to the US. They found themselves playing 4 games on the first day, 3 on the second and so on, until they lost count.

"Oh, easily more than 10 games over 5 days of competition," said David.

But it was a thrill and a moment of pride to last a lifetime.

Calvin, Jason, YK, their American friend and David

Best of all, anybody can sign up; you don't even have to be gay. "The Gay Games emphasises the spirit of inclusion," explained Calvin, Singapore Lions' captain.

The team signed up in October last year through the internet, paying US$175 per head as registration fee.

Calvin, David, YK, Jason, Morton and Gavin [1] had been playing beach volleyball together for at least 3 years and were fast friends. When Calvin first proposed the idea of making their way to Chicago, most of the rest were immediately enthusiastic.

"I was very interested," David said. "While we've been playing together for a while, to go overseas to play against foreign players at a competitive level struck me as a very good idea."

They promptly set about finding a coach and organising their training schedule. For the next 8 to 9 months, they would train at least once a week at the School of Physical Education at Bukit Timah, in addition to playing volleyball twice a week with a larger group of friends.

Meanwhile, they started saving $4,000 each to cover their airfare and accommodation in Chicago -- plus a post-games holiday in New York.

* * * * *

 
Then the tricky part: telling the family.

YK and Morton just told their families they were going on a holiday. They had long ago established their rules of engagement with them. They'd tell them where they'd be going, but there would be no need to say why.

Calvin wanted to tell his parents more, so he found a moment when they were together, with his father watching TV. "I told my mom where I was going, and about the games," Calvin said, "and I tried to explain why it was important to me. But she didn't say much, just 'Oh really?' and 'OK'."

"My father didn't even say a thing. He looked straight ahead at the TV, but I'm sure he heard."

David told his sister. Her response: "I heard that these things normally have parties."

All other athletes going to competitive events, e.g. the SEA Games, would have families cheering them on, but these ones have to do without.

Except Jason. In his case, "my parents and my sisters were very supportive when I told them I was representing Singapore at the Gay Games. My sisters would have volunteered as cheerleaders if they had the finance. Alas, I had to be content with their well wishes and their moral support."

His family had long gotten used to the fact that he was gay. He's been out since age 20. "It wasn't a comfortable outing as one can imagine but it was worth all the drama. There were tears and blame for bad parenting but there was never any threat of disowning me 
or throwing me out of the house. In any case, they couldn't do the latter because I was already living away from home. I am glad that I came out and I have no regrets. I can't imagine what it would be like to be living in the closet now."

* * * * *

"I didn't expect the kind of support, nor the scale of the event," David admitted. "I thought it'd be a low-key event with only gay people involved."

"But when I saw the support from the government at the airport, I was impressed!"

The next surprise was the stretch limousine that an American friend of theirs had arranged to pick them up from the airport. Wow! It was just like Hollywood. It had champagne and blasting music, and they were as excited as little boys in a toyshop, rolling over each other, waving to everybody on the road.

Accommodation was the dorm at Roosevelt University. They were so tired by then, they just flopped. But the next morning they were up, bright and early, no jet lag, and ready for 3-4 hours' practice.

Their American friend had also arranged a coach. She was Denise, an Afro-American male-to-female transsexual. She really knew her stuff and was said to have been a US national player some years ago (before she started taking hormones). It does sound so "Iron Ladies" [2], but it's true, all true!

That evening was the opening ceremony at Solders' Field stadium. It was almost full, and the atmosphere electric. "Spectacular" was David's description.

The opening ceremony of the Gay Games VII, 15 July 2006
 

"When we ran into the stadium and heard people cheering us, it was just fantastic," said YK.

Indeed, it's a feeling those of us who's never been in their places can hardly imagine. All the months of training have brought them there, on a field with people just like them from around the world. The spectators were there for them. The city was there for them. The mayor of Chicago made a speech, welcoming them and some other 12,000 athletes to the games -- the GAY games.

One can hardly be further from homophobic Singapore than this!

Turning to Calvin, I asked, "And what went through your mind?"

"Lots of US prime beef," he said, half-jokingly. The fact was, the US contingent outnumbered everybody else.

Nonetheless, there were teams from all around the world. The members recalled seeing Uruguay, Taiwan, Malaysia, Sri Lanka, Japan, Thailand, Philippines, even Papua New Guinea. There was also a lone competitor from China. South Africa had a surprisingly large turnout.

The Singapore contingent numbered 19. The Singapore Lions were not the only volleyball team either; there was another volleyball team as well who had registered separately. Then there was a tennis player and some runners. Together, they marched behind the red-and-white flag, proud to be Singaporean and gay.

"We had the Singapore flag painted on our cheeks and deltoids with body paint," recalled David, excited all over again.

"How did you guys manage to do the little stars?" I asked.

"Oh, for that we used Liquid Paper."

Those were not the only little flags. They had brought a bagful of sew-on Singapore flags, which they gave out as souvenirs to all the other teams they competed against.

The teams were not organised on a national basis. Any group of people can form a team, and so the Singapore Lions found themselves competing against volleyball teams from New York, San Francisco and other places. It was great fun and a wonderful opportunity to make new friends.

The Singapore Lions are in red and white, on the far side of the net. The volleyball matches were held at Navy Pier. It's really a pier jutting out into Lake Michigan, but has now been enclosed into an exhibition hall. It was a good venue for volleyball except that it had no showers.

 
"We really enjoyed playing every day," said Morton. "It was a refreshingly new atmosphere, and it feels good for a small Asian nation to beat some other teams."

"Even so, I felt acutely aware that we Asians were badly outnumbered," added YK. "They were mostly White Americans."

In Sydney 2002, there were rather more Asians in the Gay Games. "That's probably because Australia is nearer," explained Calvin.

YK expressed the wish that at some point in the future, the games can be held in an Asian city.

Not that being Asian made them any less welcome. All of them were pleasantly surprised by the warmth of ordinary people they met, not just at the games. "We wore the Gay Games tag on a lanyard around our necks most of the time, even when we went to tour the city," said YK, "and people would come up to us and say, 'Oh, you're participating in the Gay Games' in a very friendly way."

"They'd ask us what sport we played and which country we were from."

David added, "On the streets, on the buses, people would talk to us. We were very proud to represent Singapore. They treated us as valued visitors, even though we were gay."

The six of them each had a knapsack sponsored by the web portal gay.com. Naturally, the words, "gay.com" were emblazoned on it, but the guys took the bag with them most of the time.

"It was liberating to have it around, to identify yourself as gay all over the city," said Calvin.

But first and foremost, they were there to play volleyball.

"Not that I can play that well," said Calvin, "but I felt really happy to be there. The Games are for gays to come together, bond and experience a worldwide camaraderie."

"But I was also proud to be representing Singapore," he added. "It was a thrill to be Singaporean in the Games."

Morton, who stood 169 cm in his socks, recalled a moment prior to one match. He and Calvin (only 165 cm) were coming onto the court. Opposite them was an American team, made up of bigger, taller guys, one of whom remarked to his team-mate, loud enough to be heard by the Singaporeans, "Oh, we're playing with boys!"

"We thrashed them," Morton said, with unabashed glee.

© Yawning Bread