| November 2004
Let's beat AIDS, without talking about sex
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The junior minister for Health said an "in-your-face approach' was not the right way to alarm people. "Sexual behaviour... is something people don't want to talk about, it's not discussed in polite society." Thus we must remain prissy. We must find a way to alarm people without being impolite; we must send clear messages about AIDS without raising the subject of sex. (See box at right) Wonderful! But the direct approach, with condoms marching down the street, has worked in Thailand and Cambodia. To that, the minister's response was that we "need to recognise there were conservative people here." Does he think there are no conservative people in our neighbouring countries? In his speech on 10 November, the minister cited Randy Shiltz' book, "And the band played on" about how, in the 1980s, people tried to ignore the growing threat and carry on in denial. What does he think he is suggesting now? I mentioned in another article, Gambling on the Singapore model, that one of the weaknesses of Singapore in coping with change is our tendency to "concede at least part of the way to the conservatives." "But in these times, when we need to make dramatic changes of course to cope with a rapidly changing external environment, the inability to shake off our conservatism, our unwillingness to challenge archaic tenets, holds us back." * * * * * But why can't we just stick to talking about abstinence? That will please the conservatives and beat AIDS. Very simply, because it is unrealistic. People are not going to give up sex, anymore than you can expect people to stop craving sugary food, or making rude gestures when they are annoyed. These are deep instincts. The other problem with talking about abstinence is that it invariably pulls in the word "promiscuity". Even if the state-sponsored messages don't use the word, you can bet your last dollar the religious groups will [1]. They cannot resist riding the bandwagon to promote their idea of morality. So each time the secular government says. "abstain", the ride-along accusation "You're a promiscuous sinner!" rings in people's ears. Let's understand something about psychology: you cannot convince people to do what you ask if at the same time they sense they are being condemned. The other thing about promiscuity as a risk factor in HIV transmission, is that it assumes all sex is insertive sex. This is more or less true with heterosex, but it isn't so with homosex. Frottage and mutual masturbation figure prominently in homosexual practices. As someone on SiGNeL pointed out, you can have a hundred men in a night, but if mutual masturbation is all you do, you've hardly been reckless. But the guy who has unprotected sex with a pretty sex worker just once a year - he is the reckless one. So what then happens is that the "abstinence" message, based on a heterosexual equivalence between sex and insertive sex, is also seen as unnecessarily wide-ranging for gay people. It IS possible to have gay sex without protection, with next to no risk, for gay men, and certainly for gay women. Lesbians are considered to be one of the lowest risk groups. So here's another thing about psychology: when people see that your message over-reaches reality, they see your message as alarmist, and perhaps as something driven by another agenda - homophobia, sexophobia, religious crusading, perhaps. Your message is then discounted. * * * * * If we want to be effective, we have no
choice but to get to the point. We have to talk frankly and in detail
about the various kinds of sex, the risk each kind entails, and when
protection is necessary. We have to make the idea of wearing a condom as
un-titillating as wearing a baseball cap. People must stop being squeamish
about asking for one, buying one, handling one, wearing one. We have to
talk about the danger without being conservative. We have to talk about
the danger without appeasing or giving a free ride to the conservatives. © Yawning Bread
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Footnotes
Addenda None
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