We refer to the article, "Can mum,
mum and kids make a family?" by Janadas Devan, on 7 July 2007.
We commend Mr. Devan as he has so
clearly pointed out that families can and are made up of different
combinations of adults and children. At SAFE (Supporting, Affirming and
Empowering our Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered family and
friends), we believe that any adults in a loving and stable relationship
should have children if they want to.
As family and friends of LGBT
Singaporeans, we applaud Mr. Devan's willingness to see beyond the usual
homophobic attitudes of judging others. We believe that it is possible
for society to change and we would have a more just and fair Singapore
if we treat all our fellow citizens with respect regardless of race,
language, religion or sexual orientation. As long as there is love and
respect and the parents bring up their children well, what does it
matter if a family is made up of Mama, Mama and kids or Papa, Papa and
kids?
Khoo Hoon Eng
Dear Editor
I refer to Dr. Ang Su Yin's letter, in
which she claims to be an "advocate for the well-being of our
children", who "don't deserve the added problems of
homosexuality" to make their already complicated lives even more
burdensome.
Teenagers feeling sexual attraction for
the first time usually find it bewildering and difficult. The difficulty
is compounded for a gay teenager who is told that these emotions are
perverse, unnatural or immoral. Without openly gay adult role models in
committed, socially acknowledged relationships around him - for
instance, the local paediatrician colleague Dr. Ang encountered with
such horror in San Francisco - he or she sees no way for these budding
feelings to be integrated into his or her community life. Without a
supportive community, the hopes these desires kindle are often condemned
to be realised only as furtive transactions on the borderlands of
legality, instead of forming the foundation, as they could so easily
otherwise do, of a healthy, stable family life. While others can
celebrate their love or affection publicly, the gay teenager is told to
deny what he or she conscientiously and harmlessly feels.
The result of this prejudice is
predictable: a sense of alienation from oneself and others, in many
cases unhappiness, often depression or social dysfunction, in the most
unfortunate cases suicide. All on account of something - the capacity
and desire for intimate personal connections - that should be, and for
many of the rest of us usually is, a source of long-lasting joy.
Homosexuality is only an "added
problem" because homophobes make it so. Perhaps Dr. Ang would be
more accurate in specifying that she is committed only to the well-being
of our straight children, since she decries giving gay people the hope
of being accepted as fully participating individuals in the societies
they live in.
Following Janadas Devan's column in the Straits
Times, a number of people wrote in to the newspaper. Here is one
letter from the informal group SAFE:
